Ugly lesbian is the new Cover Girl

Howard Stern must've been too busy broadcasting obsenities via satelite to accept the offer. How else can you rationalize hiring Ellen DeGeneres as the model/face of Cover Girl cosmetics?

is feminine and looks like a beautiful woman as opposed to a wholesome boy

Using Ellen DeGeneres as the covergirl of a leading ladies cosmetics line is the equivalent of employing Mother Teresa as the the face for Planned Parenthood: assbackwards and subversive. Miss DeGeneres is not only a tomboy lesbian, but an ugly one at that. Yet we now see her as the smiling face for female make-up. What the bleep?! It would have made some logical sense to use her vagina buddy, whatshername, to launch the new campaign since the woman, although a lesbian, is feminine and looks like a beautiful woman as opposed to a wholesome boy.

Unless, of course, the campaign is more subversive than beautic: ugly lesbians typifying female beauty; homosexuals, family planning; Wall Street, community activism; loggers, forest preservation; Mexico campaigning for secure borders; the Monkey, compassionate conservatism; Donald Trump advancing volunteerism or Hershey promoting Nestle Quick. Two plus two equal five. Work will make you free.

Okay, I concede. Howard Stern would be slightly less convincing a Cover Girl spokesman than Miss DeGeneres.